


Come Home

by NalgeneWhore



Series: Elorcan One Shots [8]
Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 08:41:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21205394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NalgeneWhore/pseuds/NalgeneWhore
Summary: you can also find me on tumblr! im a lot more active there :))click here





	Come Home

He didn’t want to think about her tonight. 

He didn’t want to think about them, about how they were happy, about how she used to love him with her entire being. 

He didn’t want to think about how every night it became easier to not be with her, how he missed her a little bit less everyday. He didn’t want to think about how that was a lie.

That every night without her, his heart broke over and over again.

He downed his whiskey, knocking back the glass and savouring the warm feeling that accompanied the amber liquid as it slid down his throat, settling in his belly. 

The night outside was dark and foreboding, the rain a welcome shield against visitors. 

The only person he wanted to knock on the door was her but she would never do it again. 

Their wedding rings were in the same place he had put them all those months ago, the feeling of it on his finger like a brand, taunting and mocking him, the obsidian bands collecting dust on her dresser. 

Suddenly, someone rapped on the door, a pattern he knew by heart. He didn’t let himself hope though as he stood from his seat on the barstool and walked to the door, taking a bracing breath before opening the door. 

His heart stuttered in his chest when his eyes revealed her, standing in the pouring rain, hair drenched, feet and legs bare. His breath caught when he saw she was wearing his old gym shirt from high school. He yearned to reach a hand out and wipe the tears that ran down her face but he controlled himself, stuffing his hands into his sweatpant pockets. 

“What are you doing here, Elide?” His instincts screamed at the formal tone, begging him to sweep her in his arms and carry her to what used to be their bed, in their old room, in the house he once shared with her.

Her eyes shattered at the formal tone as well, he could see her heart cracking right in front of him and he couldn’t stop it. 

“I just wanted to see you. I miss you, L. So. Gods. Damned. Much.”

He responded in a soft voice, “I miss you too, El. Every second. But we can’t do this, you can’t just show up here and tell me this, you just can’t.” She placed a hand over her chest, as if she could physically keep her heart together. “We ended for a reason, we’re getting a divorce for a reason.” He refused to waver, if he stopped now and cried in front of her, he didn’t think he’d ever stop. 

“I can’t sleep without you, L, please, can I just sleep next to you one more time? I swear, please,” the tears dripping off her face didn’t cease as she pleaded with him, “I’ll be gone before you even wake up. Please, L.” 

He conceded, allowing himself one last time before an eternity without her, he hadn’t slept since she walked out the door for the last time. He saw her hesitate and grabbed her hand, the action so natural and utterly foreign at the same time. 

They walked together to what used to their bedroom, the rooms they spent nights and days twisted in one another. 

He pushed the door open, entering the room he hadn’t looked at in the months that she’d been gone. “Nothing’s changed, Lorcan.”

He shrugged and dropped her hand, walking to the far side. “I can’t sleep in here without you.” He dropped the subject and she questioned him no further, the pair slipping beneath the blankets simultaneously. They both curled on their sides, away from each other. It was only then when they both let the tears fall, their silent heartbreak darkening the pillows cradling their heads.

It didn’t take long before they were both drawn into the thralls of slumber, their breaths deep and even.

———

A warm body curled into the contours of his shifting woke him, his eyes widening when he realized who it was. It was Elide.

Holding her felt so natural, so right after so many months apart. He didn’t move a muscle, willing his breath to calm so he could be curled with her for a few minutes more.

His head stayed where it was, buried in her neck. His arms stayed where they were, one banded around her middle and one under her head, her hands clasping his arm like a pillow.

He stayed like that, feeling her breathing change, knowing she was awake, knowing she knew he was awake but neither moved.

They wanted so desperately for things to be as they were.

They remained in that position, curved around each other for what seemed like an eternity until he spoke, “Come home,” the words whispered against the back of her neck.

Her body shook with a sob.

“Be my wife again.”

“I can’t.” The words that escaped her were broken and shattered.

“Why not?” His arms tightened around her, as if trying to prevent her from leaving again. “Why can’t you come back to me?”

And though it fractured her very soul to say, she told him, “You know why.”

Lorcan shook his head, his nose brushing against her neck. “No. I don’t.”

Elide pulled at his arms and he let go. She stood from the bed and faced him, arms wrapped around her body to keep herself from breaking completely. “What would be so bad about it, E?”

“What if I did come back? Would it be like the beginning, when we were so in love? And then what would happen? Would everything go wrong again and then would it be like when I couldn’t recognize what my life was anymore? Would we fight again? Would you let me leave?”

He scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Let you? You think I had any control on whether you stayed or left? Because believe me, if I did, none of this would have happened.”

He too stood from the bed, pulling at his hair in frustration. “Do you think I wanted this? To have the one person, the only person I actually loved and still do, walk out? To have our friends treat me with kid gloves? To have to say I couldn’t go because you might be there? Hellas below E. You’re not even in my life anymore and you still own me completely.”

She crossed her arms and huffed a laugh. “You think I like this anymore than you do? To have my body ache for you? To wake up every fucking morning and forget for those first few seconds but then I remember. I remember and it’s the same amount of pain. It doesn’t go away, Lor. I can’t make it go away and I’m hurting.”

“Do you want to be with me?”

She blinked, his question catching her off guard.

She blinked, “L—“

Lorcan waved a hand, “No, don’t give me the whole ‘we can’t’. Do you want to be with me?”

“Yes. Do you want to be with me?” She answered simply, it was a simple truth she had battled since the day it had all ended.

“More than anything I ever wanted. What’s stopping us, El?”

Tears welled in her eyes, the image of the love of her life blurring.

“Because we don’t fit.” She sobbed as she said it, her instincts roaring in her head.

“That’s bullshit. That’s complete bullshit and you fucking know it! Tell me the truth. What’s stopping you from coming home?”

Elide flung her arms open and cried, “Because I’m scared! I’m fucking terrified! I’ve never felt like this before and it terrifies me. We had this beautiful thing and we fucked it up in the most possible ways! Who’s to say we won’t do it again?”

“Me! I say we won’t!” He approached her but she backed away, holding her arms up.

“What if it’s not enough?”

“What if it is? What more do you need?”

She cried, her sobs escaping out her throat. “I need you and you know that Lorcan! You fucking know that! I can’t stop fucking loving you!”

She dropped her arms and looked at him with pleading eyes. He walked closer and grabbed her left hand, lifting it up. “All I want is to put that fucking ring back on your finger. I can’t take it anymore. Be my wife again.”

Elide closed her eyes and let a few more years slip through her lashes, readying herself for her response. “I want to. I do. But what happe—“

“Then we’ll figure it out. Together. Because you have me. All of me. All that I am, forever. I’m yours. I want my wife back.”

“I want my husband back.” She closed her eyes and let the tears escape through her eyelashes. “You have me. Lorcan, you have all of me.” She opened her eyes and shrugged a shoulder up, biting the inside of her cheek. “I’m home.”

She flicked her eyes up to see disbelief marking Lorcan’s face. “Really?”

She smiled tentatively, “I’m still scared shitless but we’ll figure it out. Together this time.” He didn’t go to get her ring quite yet, he just held her to him tightly, Elide’s body molding to his like no other. “I missed you, L.” Her words were muffled by his chest but he heard them crystal clear. “I missed you too, E.” 

They stayed there, Elide pressed to Lorcan’s chest, her head tucked against his heart, for an eternity. Neither of them noticed the time because they were finally home.

**Author's Note:**

> you can also find me on tumblr! im a lot more active there :))  
click here


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